The post on my 37th birthday will come soon, I hope. I want to tell you the story of my 65K ultramarathon. It is a story not just about physical resilience but about emotional resilience, and the strength I have discovered within.
However, today marks my 38th birthday. I have changed my life this year. I have chosen to move to Virginia. I have said goodbye to many people I love to be here. I hope to spend more time with family now that I am here. I do have hope, and I also feel gutted by what I have left behind. The feeling did not fully wash over me until yesterday. Then, it hit me like a flash flood pouring over a dam.
I often pray this line from the prayer Mary’s Prayer: “transformation and new life are within us. The old is passing away; you are making me new.”
Weekly, I prayed these words this year as I began my process of leaving Essex, Connecticut. Tears found their way to my eyes as I said the line, “The old is passing away.” I could feel the truth of the words. I had to say goodbye to people and places that I loved. And now, even as I live in a new state, tears have found me again. The imprint of love I experienced while living in the Northeast is indelible.
Love and sadness are intertwined. Newness comes with loss.
Hello to sadness. Hello to love. Hello to my new beginning.
A friend wrote me a song for my birthday. It captures the bittersweetness of what I am feeling. Here is an excerpt from that song.
Virginia (The Door and the Key)
To the tune of the hymn “Softly and Tenderly”
“Goodbye, Connecticut, hello, Virginia
Welcome to all that will be
Nearer and nearer to here I come running
Running to no one but me
My home, my home
Show me the way to my home
I am a traveler in need of refreshment
Find me the door and the key
“Living and learning I come to Virginia
Not to be seen but to see
Some of the lonely and some of the dying
Some day, somewhere, God will be
My home, my home
Take me away to my home
To everything clearer and everyone dearer
They are the door and the key
“I am reborn in the land of Virginia
Happy rebirthday to me. …”
Happy rebirthday to me.
Here’s to the exquisitely beautiful and bruised journey that is life!
Joy of the Journey 