How Running Makes Me Feel

Do you run? If so, how does running make you feel?

If you do not run, how does your movement of choice make you feel?

Running makes me feel free.

This December, I experienced a sudden onset of adult epilepsy, which has since been successfully treated. Because of my seizures, I could not drive for five months and was largely homebound during that time.

Running was the highlight of my day.

It was the moment when I could escape the monotony of the same four walls. I experienced pure joy on my long runs, where I ran to a trail by me and visited my friends, the trees.

I ran through the cold winter for the first time and loved it.

I pushed my muscles; I breathed hard; I put miles and miles on my feet.

I listened to and read a dozen running books. The authors accompanied me through their running stories. I read Good for a Girl by Lauren Fleshman, Choosing to Run by Des Linden, The Longest Race by Kara Goucher, A Beautiful Work in Progress by Mirna Valerio, The Pants of Perspective by Anna McNuff, Limitless and Beyond Impossible by Mimi Anderson, Running while Black by Alison Mariella Désir, Can’t Nothing Bring Me Down by Ida Keeling, Running Up that Hill by Vassos Alexander, How She Did It by Molly Huddle and Sara Slattery, and Eat and Run by Scott Jurek.

I spend a lot of time by myself but, with the gift of running, I was never alone.

As I sprinted, Lauren Fleshman propelled me forward; she told me how she pushed her legs in a 5K until they burned. As I ran long distances, Mirna Valerio empowered me as she recounted her skillfull completion of dozens of ultra-marathons with her larger body. I love how she celebrated runners of all sizes and speeds. As I contemplated my age, Ida Keeling inspired me with her running records as a centenarian. Keeling did not start running until the age of 67.

These authors turn my mind to the question: What is possible?

I want to know. I will know.

I began driving again in April. In celebration of my liberation, I ran a 16-mile adventure run in the Shawangunks with my friend A. We raced along carriage path, tumbled through caves, ran over technical terrain, and scrambled over rocks. My thirsty eyes drank in gorgeous vista after gorgeous vista.